Separated at birth...

Has anybody noticed the remarkable similarity between former Royal Bank of Scotland chief Sir Fred Goodwin and camp funny man, Paul O'Grady? Are they, perchance, related?

Sir Fred O'Grady

Claims and counter claims

Back in February, when the kerfuffle over Sir Fred Goodwin's pension was at its most hysterical, politicians were proposing a probe into the former RBS boss's expense claims to see if it might unearth evidence that would persuade him to hand some of his pot back.
What happened to that project, I wonder?

Greenburgh shoots to the top of worst banker poll

Just who is the charmless banker under attack in the Evening Standard?
While I can't be sure - and several candidates suggest themselves - the clever money is on Matthew Greenburgh at Merrill Lynch.
Greenburgh himself is the opposite of clever money, having advised Sir Fred on ABN Amro and Eric Daniels on HBOS.
That makes him a candidate for my worst investment banker in the world gong. He is, in effect, a tax on the rest of us.

Scapegoat Millionaire

Friends of Sir Fred Goodwin - convinced that the focus on his pension is a government ruse to deflect attention from the Prime Minister's own failings - are amused to note that the story has now moved on to RBS's sports sponsorship deals.
If Sir Fred wasn't Chubby Brown's preferred scapegoat, they argue, then the government's support for the probe would naturally extend to sports deals signed by another nationalised bank, Northern Rock. I wouldn't hold your breath, lads.

Point of order, Mr Speaker

The dreadful Harriet Harperson was deputising for Gordon Brown at PMQs today, putting in a woeful performance which must have finally scuppered her (optimistic) leadership hopes.
She also told the House an untruth, when dodging a question about who proposed a knighthood for Sir Fred Goodwin (supposedly a specialist subject of hers).
"It was for services to the Prince's Trust," she mused, carelessly.
Not so. Sir Fred received his gong for services to banking. Oh, do keep up, Minister.

Sir Fred still Number One

Last April The Daily Telegraph ran a series on the 1,000 most powerful people in British business, an astonishing suck-up job by almost any standards.
The top 20 in banking, of course, now reads like a who's who of villainy, with number one (you've guessed it) Sir Fred Goodwin.
"Despite yesterday's record breaking £12 billion rights issue, Sir Fred remains the dominant influence in British banking," opined the Tel back then.
Still true, I suppose.

Marquise Myners plays dangerously with Vicomte de Fred

In what is perhaps the most eagerly followed letter-writing face-off since Pierre Choderlos de Laclos published Les Liasons Dangereuses in 1782, the correspondence just keeps on flying back and forth between former RBS boss Sir Fred Goodwin and City Minister Lord Myners.
As you'll all know by now, Sir Fred's first effort declined a tempting piece of seduction by Lord Myners, who had merely asked for the Scottish banker to give up his £650,000-a-year pension. My Lord countered that refusal with a riposte which claimed that he found Sir Fred's response "unacceptable" - despite admitting that the whole deal might have inadvertantly been given a Government nod.
"I welcomed your decision then to waive [your 12-month notice period and certain share-related awards]," Lord Myners writes. "That did not amount to approval of your pension arrangements given that, as I have outlined, I was unaware of any scope for discretion."
But how could any Minister have failed to ask about this major point, which would have been a huge gaffe for an inexperienced civil servant, never mind a man of My Lord's expertise.
Here is a man who has sat on remuneration committees and having become City Minister last year, issued this stark warning to any boardroom daring to try it on.
“I think remuneration committees are going to need to think very carefully about [excessive rewards]," My Lord mused back then. "We have made it very clear that Government is watching."
D'oh!

A principled stance?

As the Government looks to claim back Sir Fred Goodwin's £650,000-a-year pension, will the principle of no retirement rewards for failures of the credit crisis extend to the top brass at the Treasury, the Bank of England, the Financial Services Authority and the Cabinet?
And if so, which selfless soul will make the first sacrifice?

Peston strikes again, with civil tale

So who was the source of Robert Peston's "striking story" on Sir Fred Goodwin's £650k-a-year RBS pension on last night's BBC News at Ten?
Surely not a favoured Peston civil servant - a profession well known for selflessly sparing the taxpayer of any unnecessary pain in this area.
Nor can the tale be described as new - despite Pesto's self promotion - which makes one wonder what the great disseminator's motives are.

SlackBelly's (second) tip of the year

As the national newspapers begin their traditional share-tipping competition to see which of them can relieve their readers of the most money, I present my second offering of 2009: sell your shares in Standard Life.
Predictably this tip has no scientific grounding and, indeed, is not really my own. Instead, it is based on word from the Palace, following the knighthood bestowed on "Handy" Sandy Crombie, the Standard Life boss whose biddable behaviour during the credit crisis is seen by some to have clinched him his gong.
Her Maj, you see, has a distinctly patchy record as a stock picker. As soon as Sir Stuart Rose was invited to bow before her, his Marks & Spencer recovery fell to its knees. Shares in WPP have never quite been the same since boss Sir Martin Sorrell was honoured at the peak of the market in 2000; while the less we dwell on Sir Fred Goodwin and Royal Bank of Scotland the better.
So will "Handy" Sandy also suffer from Brenda's curse?