Champions Trumped

Here's a great new competition from my favourite comedy business site - the blog penned by property tycoon Donald Trump in the style of David Brent.

"My latest book is called Think Like a Champion, and if you haven’t read it yet, I would recommend that you do so as soon as possible," Trump begins modestly. "These are challenging times and all of us need to have as much training as possible to get through the race that lies ahead."
"I have signed some of my books for the purpose of sending a few out to those of you who can tell me why you think you’re a champion--and why you deserve to be singled out. No doubt a lot of you are worthy, and the fact that you are furthering your education is an obvious sign to me."

My entry has yet to be approved by the Trump Blog moderator, but I'm hopeful:

Dear The Donald,
I'm confused by your competition.
Why are you giving copies of your book, Think Like a Champion, to people who write to tell you that they are already champions? Surely it would be more logical to send them to people like me, who are less self-regarding.
I'll take my copy unsigned please.
Best regards,
SB